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khaki shorts

I'm in dire need of khaki shorts. I don't know how much longer I can wear pants.

the screen

Professor Wyatt, my music teacher next year, sent an e-mail to a few students (one of them being myself) to stop by the music building either Monday or Tuesday – ‘no later’ – to add music321. Monday passed by; I was hanging out on the porch that evening during one of Andrew's many smoke breaks when I remembered, and so I told myself to right a note to stick on my monitor to stop by Tuesday. I forgot about the note, and so Tuesday completely passed by without doing this task.

I was out of bed at 8:30 this morning, sitting on the toilet playing uno when I remembered. I became a bit frantic, thinking I couldn't get into the class (it was already added to my schedule, but I figured this was some sort of finalization). Yesterday's wardrobe was thrown on – minus yesterday's undershirt and boxers – and I walked fast and hard. My calves were starting to burn and my toes and heels were agitated, all thanks to the sandals I wore.

A few minutes later I was in the music building, talking to the person I needed to talk to. This brief talk proved the following: since I managed to add the class, I didn't need to be there. Worry and haste were for nought. Hurray!

I walked back home at a normal pace and heart rate, threw together a small list, then headed off to Meijer with the windows rolled down sucking in all the cool morning air (I like going to Meijer on nice mornings). Here's what I walked out with:

1 tub Country Crock (yes, we have butter again), 5 yogurts, 1 loaf of cracked wheat bread, 8 hot dog buns, 12 brown and serve rolls, 4 bagels, 12 eggs, 3 donuts, .5 lb of french vanilla nut coffee (someone didn't empty the grinder there, so the flavor is tainted. sigh), 1 roll duct tape, 3 rolls scotch tape, 1 adjustable screen

Yes, a screen, for the window in my room that I couldn't open because it lacked a screen and let bugs enter at will. But no more. And now that the window is open, my room is no longer hell: air is circulating and temperature is lowered. This was much needed.

Today is fantastic in a non-stressful, rested kinda way. Ryan is lending his expertise to mount [my 16×24 in 3D print on foamcore for] me, I might eat at Fat Don's tonight, I will see Michael Moore tonight, and...that's it. I don't deserve a free day by any means, but it's nice to not worry about something that has to be done in a few hours that hasn't already been started. I will catch up on some reading tonight, at a leisurely pace.

Cheese or jalapeņo bagel for lunch? Change of yesterday's clothes or no change?

Cheese, and no.

quad pollution

People don't waste a second once the weather gets all sunny and uncold. They gather in multitudes of small, independent groups on the quad, and in even larger groups on designated thoroughfare surrounding the grass. There are: panhandlers in the form of annoying sorority girls collecting for some ‘cause’; ethnic clumps; couples, a layer short of being nude, on top of each other; passer-bys; me, in pants.

It's humid and hot and breezy, which wouldn't be terrible if surrounding construction didn't send clouds of particles flying into my eye or hair. The construction is kinda nice, though: walking along Green street, I was reminded of Bangladesh with the scents and noise and heat. Just three more months until I go back.

In the meanwhile, I will pick up my project print, skip physics discussion, and nap in the basement – basements are natural air conditioners. All houses should be built underground. In time, we might evolve into true dwarves and take up occupations such as mining, blacksmithing, or becoming a paladin (or righteous thief).

Sage Francis

...is coming to The High Dive tonight, and I get to miss him. Not fun. Maybe if I knew before today things would be different? Probably not.

I have to get used to drinking warm water now. Sigh.

dead arm

I woke up with a completely numb right arm – that wasn't pleasant. I sat up immediately and threw my shoulder back and forth to give the blood some momentum to flow. Feeling came back within a minute, but for the next ten minutes there were tingles of numbness. Now there's just a very slight discomfort.

So, don't sleep on your right side for several hours. (I can't sleep as easily on my left or back, for reasons not entirely known.)

The house is turning humid and a bit stuffy. It's a welcome change in a way. Sometimes I accept the discomforts of summer. There's something about this season, for reasons not entirely known.

(Nevermind. Autumn will remain the best season by any stretch of the imagination. Summer can go sit in the corner.)

current song fixation

It's all an open center
Opens up and lets the wind lift him away
It doesn't have to feel water
It's just a place that feels right with him
Kinda like the way you're breathing
I kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to glide on
Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard's dick
 
There's a shyness found in reason
Apprehensive influence swallow away
You seem to feel abysmal, take it, then you're careful grace for sure

Kinda like the way you're breathing
Kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to climb on
Climb on my six inches and go down on Maynard's dick
 
Took you out in the back of the toolshed
Put it right on top of your forehead
Took you out in the back of the toolshed
Now you know what you're fuckin with... Maynard's dick!
—Tool, ‘Maynard's Dick’

This is what happens when you put off listening to a ‘new’ album (i.e. – one that you've copied from a friend) for many several weeks: a good song remains hidden from your ears.

mmm

It's lovely outside.

ONCE AGAIN

‘We are condemning strongly all the attacks which are targeting civilians from both sides and especially the attack that took place against Israeli citizens yesterday in Jerusalem,’ Arafat's statement, in Arabic, said. It was released on the official Palestinian news agency, WAFA.
 
A senior U.S. official traveling with Powell said the Bush administration was reviewing Arafat's statement Saturday to see if it was enough to allow a Powell-Arafat meeting.
—NYTimes.com, ‘Response to U.S. Demand May Result in Meeting With Powell’, 13 April 2002

Arafat is being forced to condemn suicide bombers who he most likely has no control over, and yet Sharon isn't really being nudged into anything despite the complete destruction of villages and hundreds of lives by the Israeli army within a two-week span?

What the fuck?

Fuck government-sponsored terrorism. I hate this. I hate the government. I hate this world.

Israel should be dissolved. Sharon should be kicked in the face.

‘One cannot reach peace with Mr. Arafat,’ Sharon said in an interview Friday with the CBS Evening News. ‘I think that, because of him, we cannot reach any settlement. Therefore, I believe that there should have been an effort to find somebody with whom it will be possible to do so.’

thirty-two

Cliffhanger: putting the final words on my essay at 8:15 when it's due by 9.

The darned thing is finally finished, although I didn't have time to spruce up the typography on the printed copy (mostly changing numbers to old style and putting in small caps for abbreviations).

I thought I could make it to the afternoon without a nap, but my mind started to shut down while I was on the toilet, a few minutes before music class. And then I nodded off countless times during class, something I've never done during music. It was pointless to go today.

Thus, thirty-two hours had been spent awake before the noon crash.

Tonight is filled with empty possibilities of study, a walk outside (?), or an early sleep. Or something not thought of yet.

Question: What does it mean when the light and radio are on in an empty bathroom?

Answer: Toby's home.

new shirt

For the first time in over two years, I've gone through all my ‘old’ undershirts. I'm now forced to wear a brand new black undershirt that has always stayed in the back of the drawer, possibly on reserve for an occasion such as this. Laundry will be done later today: there are still a few clean boxers left.

more woes

Hi, your program did not use output files properly and did not comply
with the correct format. I was able to give you credit for member, and
partial credit for error handling (It says Error: Auction Closed. When
there is just an insufficent bid, but the member portion works). After
adjusting for partial credit and penalties, I awarded you with 4 points.
If you wish to persue the matter further you should contact Prof.
Peiper.

That was in response to an e-mail I sent the TA asking how I ended up with a 0 on the programming assignment. He gave me credit in completing two parts (the ‘member’ functions) and tacked on some partial credit. By my account, that's a minimum of over 20 points. So I get penalized over 16 points? For what? For their mistake and laziness in grading? My fucking goodness.

I feel very stressed and tired, and maybe I'm not the best person to debate civil liberties violations carried out by the government against Arabs/Muslims in America at this moment. There is a plant that could very well cure the stress. I just don't have access to it.

This essay will never be completed. I should break these bottles in my room....

feeling flurry

Flurry of feelings. Is flurry the right term?

So I've gone through much of the day in a wasteful manner. The slight bit of energy I had after I woke is diminished. As such, I've been known to lie down in bed for minutes (sometimes several, sometimes many several) due to lethargy. I lie down hoping that I'll think – about my essay in particular – but thoughts end up roaming away from politics and towards certain vice.

Remember my physics test? I'd planned on dropping the course, but the online registration program wouldn't let me (it's required by the major), so a trip to one of several engineering deans was in order. That happened today. And the dean said he wouldn't let me drop it, reasons being the following: I already used my ‘free’ drop last semester (to drop a course one month after the drop deadline, but the deadline for physics is tomorrow) and he had some reservations about my incomplete assignment from a year ago. It just all seemed to be ‘getting out of hand’ to him. If I wasn't on track to graduate next year, he'd actually have a stronger point.

Because of my assumptions, I missed a homework assignment and quiz. From this day forward, I have to spectacular on everything in the class. Just to get a high D/low C. Anything less risks failure.

And then there's summer employment. I have this idea that I don't want to work for the state anymore. I'll give up a position that makes $16 per hour for a job at Starbucks within Barnes & Noble. The thought of being in that building again 40 hours a week doing boring, repetitive assignments that don't benefit me in any way is scaring me. Everyone might be thinking that I'm stupid. Maybe it's true, but it's just some money. I'll take a loan to pay for next year, and apply for jobs on campus over summer. There are other ways to earn cash. At the very least, I can go back to plasma donations. I'll live so much closer to the clinic next year.

The pressure is building with each passing day. All the hours I waste is frightening, but I'm so used to it that it hasn't really jolted me into changing. Ah well.

Spring is here for good. Humidity is up, sun is shining, cold is fading. One good thing about this house is that I'll get a preview of the hellish summer weather that visits Bangladesh every year, something I haven't experienced in nearly a decade. Being home in Springfield for two months with AC will spoil me.

Okay, essay, here I come.... Oh, hold on: Will & Grace is up in 15 minutes. We have cable again today, so I should make inaugural use. I never mentioned why we lost cable? Some other day, perhaps, I will tell. That some other day will most likely be tonight.

good morning!

My 8 PM nap turned into 8 hours of ‘sleep’ (it was a restless 8 hours), thus I have started my day at roughly 4 AM. I'll nap this afternoon and get back on normal schedule, although it is nice to hear the garbage trucks come around and listen to the birds waking up.

History test went spectacular in a way: practically all my learning boiled down to the 4ish hours before the test (in the cafe, over a mocha). When all was written, I felt as though the absolute minimum I could get is a C, but even a B is in good contention. Good thing I tried to hammer down much of the Meiji Restoration. Japanese history is a little more fun than Chinese history.

I also saw HRH Prince Hassan bin Talal (of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan). I grossly underestimed his age. I knew his dad was old, but that didn't keep me from thinking the prince would be, at most, in his 30s – nope. He's slightly above 60.

Regardless, he's a good speaker, very funny and knowledgeable (he made fun of the press – as they left – for leaving after the first few minutes, to the extent of ‘Congratulations to the press! Without fail, they take the first few shots, leave, and make up the rest in the end’). This was one of the few times I wish I had a tape recorder with me, partly because I don't remember everything he said, but also because it was interesting.

Oh, the topic was ‘Is There a New Opportunity for Peace in the Middle East?’ He didn't necessarily answer that: the basis for his talk was mostly around the need for world peace, for relating to and understanding other cultures, and for an internation peace corp.. With regards to the mideast, he says that Western media is biased against Muslims and, surprisingly, that Arab media is also biased against Muslims. He wants the Arab people to become ‘incensed’ at their condition and to do something constructive about it instead of accepting their place in society as is, and he wants a leader to emerge for the countries that is a visionary and willing to take risks (he cited bin Laden as an example, but he didn't condone bin Laden's terrorism).

Question & Answer time came. Of the several who asked questions, three Arabs criticized him for what amounted to not really pointing out blame against the Israelis (in his speech he did mention, with sarcasm, how the mideast has given Arafat, Hussein, and Sharon in times of crisis when other regions have given Gandhi, Jefferson, etc.). I saw their point, but that wasn't the purpose of Prince Hassan's talk.

There was so much more. I may have even slightly erred in reporting details, in which case I'm sorry. It was a good experience, and I'm glad I decided against not going.

Sadly, the dream of peace is impossible without good leaders in countries. But we can't give up hope, I suppose.

I want to start a newswire service and a newspaper. Something that will bring both sides of an issue. The media has so much power and yet they waste it all for one side. Pitiful.

Ah well. I've just come back from an early morning round of Smash Bros. with Ryan. I think I'll watch Go and outline my 6–8 page essay due tomorrow.

Viva el Kaiser.

a new trick

Retracting ones Adam's apple when shaving. Useful to anyone with an Adam's apple and ample hair growth on throat.

‘ugh’

Timmy Teabags: why do i have a bump in my mouth that hurts? :-(
Razanova: what kind of bump
Timmy Teabags: far back of mouth, on the right side. where my wisdom teeth used to be
Razanova: used to be?
Razanova: hmm
Razanova: so theres no tooth at all?
Timmy Teabags: nope
Razanova: maybe the cavity where the tooth used to be somehow is infected
Razanova: kinda like a root infection but without the tooth
Timmy Teabags: ugh
Razanova: maybe they didnt get everything out...
Timmy Teabags: it happened all of a sudden after i ate chips last night
Razanova: or maybe its just sensitive tissue :-\
Razanova: i thought it hurt before?
Timmy Teabags: before that, i don't remember it hurting
Razanova: i thought you got up once before one night?
Timmy Teabags: i had the bump, except it didn't hurt then
Razanova: maybe its gettin worse..
Razanova: whens the last time you went to the dentist
Timmy Teabags: over summer
Razanova: DRUNKEN ANDREW INC
Razanova: haha

That's why I couldn't sleep. Sigh. Hopefully the peroxide treatment (Andrew's suggestion) will work its charm. If only the bump was aimed up more, instead of against my teeth, it wouldn't hurt as much.

The ‘haha’ is in reference to a story about a girl who happened to be ‘tagged’ by two of Andrew's friends tonight, whom he had the pleasure of shaking hands with after the romp (the girl). But I'll leave it at that.

I just want to chomp down and grind all my teeth out. It feels weird as I eat this poptart! SJDKhfsdkjahsjhA

infiltration

Someone snuck into Fort Kox (Fort Knox mixed with Kaiser, or without the ‘n’ the sounding is most pleasant) and wrote that message, my away message at the time, verbatim on stationary found within my room. Very pleasant surprise. But whodunnit? (And yes, the back of my head has a bit of a fade, and my neckline is trimmed. ‘Just a touch of style.’)

The handwriting is familiar, yet I can't place it.... Sleuth later. Read now, for God's sake. NOW!

Not too long after this post, the infamous Toby P. admitted to writing the message.

Tobie81: oh and i wrote the away message
Timmy Teabags: =-O
Tobie81: sherlock holmes
Tobie81: i needed to get on IM real quick so i signed you off wrote it down and put it back up when i was done
Timmy Teabags: ahh...
Tobie81: ingenious

A certain bird has also chirped a certain tune about one egg stolen from Fort Kox. Make haste and flee to Spain before it's too late, Toby P....

‘Nice to see you.’

That was the remark made by the TA, Alfred, when he barely called out the boy's name and saw him sitting in front. The boy softly laughed out loud, knowing that his three week absence went noticed.

History discussion began. The TA went over some general test info. ‘I hope everyone's been studying. There's a lot of material to go over that you shouldn't put off until tonight.’ The boy grinned. ‘You're going to put it off until tonight, Shahid?’ asked Alfred with a chuckle of his own. ‘Heh, yup,’ Shahid replied.

And so the remainder of class was spent talking about Ah Q—The Real Story by Lu Xun, to which the boy could offer no questions or answers. He sat at his desk, looking up occasionally, but mostly looking down onto the paper of terms. He sat there and doodled wildly, contently within the white space, intrigued by his strange little creations and knowing that a deep fux0r was in the making if he didn't catch up on 250 pages of reading during the 13 free hours left in the day.

I will do it, he thinks, after I buy my incense and eat lunch. Time is ticking away, my friend.

life in a brownie

When you read the box, go over the instructions closely. Gather all necessary items, making trade-offs when reasonable: these switches should yield a product of a caliber equal to the theoretical yield.

Do not hastily prepare the batter. Treat all ingredients with respect. If you must treat things with special attention, do so sparingly: a kingdom is not a kingdom without loyal subjects, and a brownie is not a brownie without eggs, inexpensive and abundant as they might be.

Coat the pan with cooking spray. You skipped that part, didn't you? Scrape the batter out as best you can, lay a coat onto the surface, then try again.

Tend to your sense of responsibility: don't feed the oven emptiness for long, and don't run to it a few seconds late. Lives can change drastically with a few mistimed seconds.

Carefully remove the pan: use an oven mitt. Let the brownie cool, and be patient: this is a virtue. Bide your time in a productive manner: this is also a virtue.

When ample time has passed, reward yourself with the fruits – or in this case, desserts – of your labor. Don't eat too much. Set the pan aside in a safe area, and keep a butter knife handy.

Times might be confusing, or perhaps today is just one of those unproductive days? Cut yourself a slice to temporarily escape. Repeat moderately or when necessary.

A new day is born. If the old batch isn't quite what you expected, look at where you may have made a mistake: some things might not be in your hands, but hold tight to the things that are. Sleep well and be prepared for the next batch. Make it your best yet.

Pepe

aye aye aye

The biodata on this fellow is that he'll poop in your bed when he misses you. And he has a pink thingy. How cute.

Speaking of cute, I just watched Amelie. The movie is too cute for its own good. So is the actress. So sweet.

mixmaster?

– music to be late to class by. on a pretty, overcast day.

01. The Way Out is Through [Nine Inch Nails]
02. The Truth About Iowa [Stretch Arm Strong]
03. Street Scene [Saafir]
04. The New Flesh [Nine Inch Nails]
05. Undertow [Tool]
06. Cross Out the Eyes [Thursday]
07. King of Silence [Cibo Matto]
08. Stinkfist [Tool]
09. Daydream [Smashing Pumpkins]
10. The Becoming [Nine Inch Nails]
11. Why You Want to Get Funky.... [Del]
12. Crush [Smashing Pumpkins]
13. The Big Come Down [Nine Inch Nails]
14. Intro/Streaks in the Sky [Thursday]
15. Help Me I am in Hell [Nine Inch Nails]
16. Groove is in the Heart [Dee-lite]
17. In a Vest [Saafir]

– 74:00 minutes of music, AKA ‘Perfect CD.’

01. Rascuache [At the Drive-In]
02. Wish [Nine Inch Nails]
03. Bones [Radiohead]
04. Gone, Still [Nine Inch Nails]
05. Metrinome Arthritis [At the Drive-In]
06. Knives Out [Radiohead]
07. 300 Mhz [At the Drive-In]
08. Anyone Can Play the Guitar [Radiohead]
09. All That Could Have Been [Nine Inch Nails]
10. My Iron Lung [Radiohead]
11. Persistence of Loss [Nine Inch Nails]
12. Leaving Hope [Nine Inch Nails]
13. Spinning Plates [Radiohead]
14. Ripe (with decay) [Nine Inch Nails]
15. Blow Out [Radiohead]
16. Blank Page [Smashing Pumpkins]
17. Suck [Nine Inch Nails]