The first five that came to mind are: ‘Sweat’, ‘Jerk Off’, ‘Bottom’, ‘Undertow’, ‘Flood’.
In fact, I've been listening to those songs on repeat for a couple of hours now. I am in a pre-Aenima Tool mood. Anxious. Verging on fidgety. Wanting to break things. But I'm calming down in a way.
Why does my left upperback feel weird? It's discomforting.
So all that confidence is computer architecture was just the most deceitful stunt I've pulled on myself in the last few weeks.
I passed with a D- overall. My final exam grade was a 50% and not the +75% I thought I would receive. Hah. I'm stupid.
I know I'm going to fail circuits now. Sigh.
I need to make a page of strange Google searches that list my site.
It helps in reminding me how much more amusing I used to be. Sigh. When did I make a wrong turn?
Oh, and can someone identify the jeans I'm wearing? If they're what I think they are, either the lighting was really low (well, it was the Oregon house), or my jeans have seriously faded in the past three years. I think it's the pair that Derek, Arun, Ryan, and I all own. We were a cute bunch.
If this is the first time you've seen this picture, that's Nick on top of me.
Projects 2–4 in completion. Items not named.
Yeah, the colors on the camera are not so good. Someday I'll have my own.
Eggs, sugar, milk, orange zest, cinnamon, and vanilla.
Well, the best I've had.
Knitting marathon is over. Scarf and cap are finished. Time for excessively needed sleep.
I'm back from helping Asma move and seeing her off. And…I'm sitting in my room just…wondering what I should do next. I have to hope/assume that today is the first day of my life where computer science is no longer strangling me. I don't have to worry about the next homework or test. I could lie down all day and not think that I'm putting off work. But…
I need plans. I need to be active.
And I miss her.
Ok, today, I'm going to knit until I finish her scarf and cap. First, I'm going to eat pizza. And once knitting is done, I'll take a shower. And get Eric's hi-hat stand back from Paul. And then drum.
That's enough for one day.
Combinatorial algorithms – Well, I was hoping to get 25%, and I think I got it. I had a C going in, which is ironic considering that this class was the bane of my existence yet I had a better standing in it than in the others going into a final. Pass.
Conclusions – Is this really the end? Yes? Please let it be!
Hi folks.
I hate asking this, but I have no other recourse to avoid it. That said,
If any of you have a few dollars laying around and would like to donate to the site, I would be very much appreciative.
As it stands, I have no job for the winter, I have no money for rent (though that'll involve begging from the parents), and…yeah. The last payment to my host made my credit card balance negative.
Bottom line is that I suck. And if you're willing to donate to make sure the site doesn't disappear for the next month or two, I will make you something. Or pay you back in due time.
Again, sorry I've had to come to this. I'm planning my death as punishment.
Computer architecture – All questions answered, unlike on midterm. Messed up a question I shouldn't have. Possibly got 1.5 right I knew little or nothing about beforehand. All in all, much better than expected. Pass.
Electrical circuits – Rape. Either much of the class has a good grasp on those tricky problems, or there will be a generous curve. I'll be a pessimist here so as to not get my hopes up. Fail.
Conclusion – This was pretty much as I wishfully predicted last night, where I decided that focusing on archicture instead of spreading myself thin on both would guarantee at least one passing grade.
Tomorrow brings the most dreaded of classes, though is now seems tame compared to circuits. I will prepare in a miniscule fashion, as opposed to not at all as I once resolved to do.
I feel a bit like crap, one of the culprits being a mild form of fatigue. The other, self-confidence.
But it's all good.
For a few moments, Andrew, Toby, and I stood around in the kitchen after 6:30. It might've been the first and last time we're all awake early.
Regardless of how finals go, I will start moving into the future. Being idle for +10 years is no good.
I had a strange dream about the Gevalia factory. There were reports of a strange fire inside, but the Gevalia president – a fat, aging Swedish woman with glasses – was notorious for being secretive about the organization. She held a press conference and was crying about the incident, but she didn't let anyone into the building. And I think I was trying to interview a girl, or maybe it was me observing an interview in first-person, but she was a bit hesitant to talk. Another worker in the area kept telling her how ‘She’ would be very pissed if she found out she [the girl] was talking.
The Gevalia factory was very tall, slender, and oddly shaped. Very sinister aura surrounding it.
I'm sure it's not like that in real life.
If you have a copy of Quark for the PC, please let me know if you could share it. Jeff told me that InDesign won't ever become widely accepted in the industry. I won't stop using InDesign, but it would be good to learn Quark.
If I ever get a chance to remake ‘Mothership Connection’ the video will be absurd. I had visions of it while walking back.
I'm going to hopefully ace my computer architecture final, assuming the professor doesn't decide to throw in obscure references to the book. In which case, I'm dead. I'm dead for circuits for sure.
I love the position I put myself. I also hate my mind. There has to be an easy way to change it.
I'm going to wake up at 6, make strawberry Toaster Streudels and this wonderful chai spice tea that Asma gave me, do a quick review of homework, walk to the exam listening to ‘Mothership Connection’ on repeat, stay calm and focused, and do the damn thing.
She makes me happy. I don't feel stressed or bad.
How many pieces of paper will I waste?
How much ink will I waste?
How many empty posts will I make?
In the process of getting some things ready, I found a ‘drawing’ I made in Illustrator over three years ago. This is only an effort to distract myself, not because it means something.
Blood doesn't have a brightish red tinge. Looking back to my days of donating plasma, it's much darker.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm retarded now.
I can't keep having conversations with my dad about jobs and shit. I'm getting pissier each time, and it's not making either of us happy.
He's acting like I'm about to get married and start a family in the next year and that I need a good job now. Blah.
Toby is out of the shower now; I go in.
PS – I've gone down a notch in my belt; haven't been able to do that since July of 2002. Eating less often seems to be working in a slow sort of way. Now it's time to reverse muscle atrophy.
Sadist Hussein is captured. Allahu akbar. Yes. [?]
Three.
I have a plan of action, but I'm not absorbing things as fast as I should. In fact, I've spent an inordinate amount of time on a single ECE homework, which isn't smart.
Must move on to other material.
Sigh.
I was out-drunk by a freshman. That just makes me extra lame. Ah well. Fun times nonetheless.
I'm going to try getting crafty next semester. I can either take two classes at Parkland (design and painting) or knit the days away. I could do both. It'll be fun either way.
I always try to pack in as close to 74 minutes as possible on a mix CD, but this time I clocked in at a bit less than 52.
01 Once around the block [Badly Drawn Boy]
02 3 minute rip down [Eligh]
03 I did it like that [Murs]
04 Sad pony guerrilla girl [Xiu Xiu]
05 Mothership Connection [Parliament Funkadelic]
06 St. John the divine [Ted Leo & the Pharmacists]
07 Between Tholozan and Oleatha [Grand Ulena]
08 Original spies [Karate]
09 God loves ugly [Atmosphere]
10 The man who sold the world [David Bowie]
Study, study, study… Gotta start someday.