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i hate insomnia

And I don't want to be here.

this is just cute

Hatred of computer science.

Hastam. Hasti.

we love Teren Delvon Jones

we pass the local grocery store, and you can be sure
the meats and the produce ain't good no more
some of it is from days before, i want it fresh
and the clerk get in my way so it's stress
they doin' me
in my community, fuck it, we there
ain't enough for a six-pack so we had to share
a nice little stroll through the april spring air
we hide our shit so the nation don't see it there

pattern

000000000000000000000000000000001000000001

Galaxy 5-oh-oh.

Right now, I hate Acrobat 6's search interface.

some five miles later

Did a lot of walking this afternoon, to the point where the back of my right knee and right calf started to cramp a bit. It's partly the shoes, partly my physical inactivity.

I cut further into my ever dwindling supply of money today, hoping that at least one or two jobs will come through by Friday. It's not for me though, so it's all good regardless.

Fuck the Espresso Royale behind Krannert. I turn in an application a week before they start hiring, and then today when I go in to ask if they've started calling people or reviewing applications, the girl at the register says they're full. Blah.

I had an interview today. The job pays decently. I'll know by Friday. And I can get a lesser paying job at the library, so long as there are hours for me. Coffee shops look bleak right now.

All in all, I'm still in tattered clothes with pant pockets pulled out, and a confused, dejected look on my face. And I have stubbles. I need work.

I shaved my beard, actually. I feel young again. I look sexier, too.

There are minor troubles. Things will come to pass, hopefully, and all will be normal again.

I'm tired, and there's a slice of cake from Moonstruck waiting for me. And then I have to get creative. I should've been messing with Photoshop more over the years…

Barring other circumstances, I would predict that I'll actually sleep well tonight.

what is it about hands

…that make them feel frozen five times faster than the face? Ow.

more phases

I can't get enough of The Icarus Line. Dammit.

That, and I'm wasting too much time right now. Possibly about to lose an opportunity I don't want to lose. Dammit.

Be focused for once.

sweet hey-zeus

I feel so drained right now. Much of it has to do with walking outside, I think, forgetting that walking in the cold tires me at times.

Toby and I bought Double Dragon, Ikari Warriors, and TMNT: Arcade for NES. These games are tough.

I ran into my friend Katy after two years of not seeing or hearing from her. I half-expected to run into her since it usually happened at the bookstore. Crazy.

I talked to the manager of Espresso Royale. He wanted to know if I could work shifts starting at 6 AM. If I wasn't so adamant about getting a job there I would've said no. He says he'll look at my application again.

Any coffee shop would do, though. Too bad I missed my opportunity for working at Moonstruck. Their desserts are good.

Yawn.

The floors here are cold. There are gaps where the carpet meets the walls.

want want want

I told myself I'd go to Moonstruck this evening because I craved chocolate and cake. I did not go.

I craved Wendy's fries but had no transporation.

I thought Chinese would be good, but I didn't want to eat dinner by myself, nor was I hungry. And it's cold outside and the walk would be long. And Chinese made me miss someone.

I ate mashed potatoes instead. I haven't been out of the apartment in two days.

Seven hundred miles is far. But Toby is back, so things are more airy around here. And above all else, I will not be stuck by myself tonight. Yay.

The ‘semester’ kind of starts tomorrow. Perhaps I'll stop being whiny.

hi there

I have a short story in the works. The working title is ‘Time moves slow and sucks’. The characters are Alvin, Simon, and Theovelt. It's set in a dark place, and then later in a light place.

Or maybe this is all a lie.

‘I’ll never understand condiments’.

Don Hertzfeld's Lily and Jim is the most adorable worst blind date.

this theory

I watched Big Fish last night with Amy. It's a good movie. Touching, sad, funny, etc.. And I think the moments where I could've cried but held back tears built up. I walked away from the theater with a bit of a headache.

I woke up with a bigger headache. My neck is sore. I don't know know how much longer I can continue like this. Hoping for a night were I just crash is too much to expect, apparently.

In effect, I hate myself more.

sleeping problems suck

Dammit.

the act of ‘breaking down’

So, I was sitting in my room today and got entirely fed up with being in this apartment. So, I walked west, toward Paige's apartment. Along the way, I purchased Woodchuck, in hopes that I could drink myself to sleep at Paige's.

Lo and behold, I run into Paige outside of her apartment building as she's coming back from Rentertainment. So I have a few things to say about tonight.

One. I lost my keys at her place. Thankfully, Andrew was far from sleeping and at the neighbor's apartment, thus leaving our apartment unlocked enough for me to enter.

Two. I passed only one person on the walk home that wasn't in a car. Those several moments were a bit eerie.

Three. It's been a big mistake of mine to not go to Paige's last semester. Will I ever see Pete – or anyone else for that matter – lob a 13" television from over 50 ft above the ground onto an adjacent building's roof? Many weeks to go until May comes, so, many opportunities to have some fun.

Four. Paige made me some good macaroni and cheese, because I had tea and ate half an Almond Joy for dinner.

Five. A girl who can carry on a phone conversation in an unintelligible, made-up language is the best. Especially if you can combine your idea with hers that the next evolution of humans will be such that one can psychically project one's clone into the head of another human.

Paige and Asma are awesome. Tonight was a very good night.

i’m going crazy

It's not even 7.

‘sexual menace, episode 5’

…you think that you
a betta man, a stronga man
with the things that you say, dawg,
and the things you do?
everybody knows that you
is just a chump, dawg,
and the menace, he really be you
(what's my name?)

three o'clock in the morning,
coffee keep me warm at night,
without a fight,
just a fight,
vegemite.
and you can't get no honeys,
you wish that you was Dolemite…
‘Sexual Menace V’, The Nubiuses

Today is Thursday. What to do? Sigh.

return of the coffee

Thanks to Carly, I've been given the push I needed to rejoin Gevalia (something I've been lightly thinking about the past few weeks). Since she mentioned it in the course of conversation, I went to the site and was enticed partly by the offer of a thermal coffee maker and two mugs in addition to two flavors of my choice, and partly because we both remembered raspberry chocolate coffee at the same time. It was a sign.

The last time I became a member of Gevalia was three years ago – I lived a block away from where I do now.

Full circles.

So it's back to enjoying good flavored coffee, despite it being from a drip machine. Certain things require exceptions.

This day has been idle but enjoyable, despite having only been outside for 10 minutes in the last 24 hours. But now, I wish I had somewhere to go or something pressing to do.

hmm…upon further inspection

I once mentioned something about The Streets, and, I will admit that he's not as bad as I'd thought. It's still not my thing overall, but his production skills are enough that the music is enjoyable.

Original Background Material.

Derek said it best

Quote of the week(s): ‘Door handles are a luxury’.

Ah, the winter of junior year…

isn’t this pretty?

aww...pretty


I bought all available varieties of Orbit gum at Walgreen on my quest to find jobs.

I still don't have anything promising as far as a job, but I'm definitely $5 poorer.

I dislike when I'm tricked. It makes me feel utterly stupid. But that's karma.