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blern

  • 2004-08-31 09:36 am EST
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I feel like such a fake person. But I'm hoping that changes soon.

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall.

from the sky

What's stopping us from harnessing lightning's energy? Anything that can light up the sky for tens of miles a strike deserves a closer look.

big budget + creative team

I want the money and access to a creative/technical team that can make professional music videos.

Right now, I have an idea for making Nelly's ‘Flap Your Wings’ reminiscent of a video game. The music sounds like something that could come from UN Squadron or something boss-like.

I'm thinking that there needs to be a huge entrance to a cave, but with gigantic stone doors. And at the beginning (which starts off with the chorus), the door could slowly be opening as Nelly and the St. Lunatics stand several yards away, looking in shock and awe.

And as the video progresses, the thing behind the door turns out to be a monstrous eagle.

Drop down and get your eagle on, gurl.

she’s sneaky

Each night around 8:15, I let Shirin out of my cage to scurry around and poop in my room. Her points of interest generally lie under my bed, in a small dresser, or jumping on top of my bed. The entire room is chinchilla-proofed (or so I thought), so I tend to leave for 5-10 minutes at a time knowing that she'll be okay and that she won't do any harm.

Last night, I left the room for a good 20 minutes to watch The Daily Show. When I go back, I found Shirin on my desk, where I happened to have my laptop. She jumped off the desk as soon as I walked in, thinking she wouldn't be caught, then moments later came up to me as if nothing had happened.

Except that she'd eaten part of the rubber coating on my mouse scrolling wheel and cut one of Asma's little hairbands. And knocked down some CDs. Thankfully, she didn't chew anything dangerous or expensive (like the power cord).

I was at my computer this morning, and I reached for a quarter-piece of Orbit gum. Just as I was about to eat it, I realized that it was more like an eighth.

Shirin ate her first piece of gum last night, apparently.

I JUST DON’T GET IT

What's the economics behind the hundreds of millions of dollars in political campaigns? Campaign ads? All the good that could go to…even a modest percentage.

field lines

I was walking along a path surrounded by tennis courts. Wireless signals were interrupted frequently and evenly, and as I walked along the path, I could feel an electrical pulse cut through me when I passed an area of reception.

elapse

before

Five years ago.

after

Today.

Both pictures taken by my dad.

Hasan left all his toiletries at home. I deliver them tomorrow.

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh. sigh.

Eh.

I'm in limbo right now with this unemployed shit. I have a 95% failure rate getting interviews because I'm not a DC resident. People have given their opinion supporting a theory I had from the start that most companies just don't to put in money to interview out-of-area candidates. And then there's the inability to be available if they need someone immediately.

I don't have money to just move and survive for three months, otherwise I would. The distance is unbearable.

Hasan is leaving for campus tomorrow. Monday marks the first of many lonely days in Springfield. Perhaps I'll go jobhunting in the area.

The last two mornings have been so cool and pleasant outside. Too bad the wireless signal doesn't carry over outside.

I have issues with myself. Resolving them will be tricky, being that I don't really know how to go about it. If it's all in the mind then I should learn to brainwash myself.

I hope Barnes & Noble will hire me.

true story regarding a car ride

I was on campus yesterday, and the ride back home provided some excellently shuffled music, or the songs just felt excellent at the time.

Here's what I can remember offhand:

Hall & Oates – ‘Maneater’
Egyptian Lover – ‘Egypt, Egypt’
Big Gipp, Outkast – ‘Black Ice’
Cee-Lo – ‘The Experience’

There were more, included my staples of At the Drive-In and Clutch. And the line-up of rap at one point was just…pleasing to my ears.

Actually, the last two are always excellent. But I want to form a band someday and cover Hall & Oates songs, and make a video to ‘Maneater’ for fun that somehow catches on with the public.

How does one go about ‘making music’? I'm scared to try now.

a cold night in Springfield

Back again I am, in central Illinois. Yay?

My flight from O'Hare to Springfield was delayed two hours because the crew that was supposed to pilot it wasn't available (due to some problems getting to O'Hare in the first place). One of the United Airways people made an announcement that once the third crew member (co-pilot) of the backup crew got there, we'd be able to board.

An hour passed before the co-pilot arrived, at which time everyone started clapping. And he made a joke during the pre-flight announcement about how he was pulled over trying to get to the airport as quickly as he could.

But anyway.

My parents treat me as if I've been wasting away at home, unemployed for more than a year, watching television all day, not doing anything worthwhile since I graduated so long ago.

In reality, I've had physical posession of my diploma for a little over two months. I've applied to over 30 jobs and I'm still looking. They give me the same shit over and over again, and I tell them over and over again that unless I truly have to, I'm not going to put myself in a position where I'll despise what I do.

I'm tempted to move away from home with what little savings I have if they don't grow some sense that their way of thinking isn't the only correct way. This is getting to be unbearable.

Asma got me hooked on Pipe Dream yesterday, and I have it on an emulator now. Yay.

It was oddly cold last night while I waited for my brother to pick me up from the airport.

I miss kuchuluam, but this is an understatement.

i hate sleep

I hate not being able to sleep, really. Blah.

as usual

I am blank. It is, perhaps, my worst trait.

maybe this is too much info

My poop has been thrown off course the two days prior. Mostly due to a horrible diet and lack of sleep. Like yesterday, I had two big poops (once before going to the airport, and once on the plane from Springfield to Chicago). The rest of the day, I was kinda gassy but couldn't force anything out (maybe there was nothing to force? But it felt like there was.)

I'm happy to report that things are back on track today. Four consistent good meals from Sunday to Monday and some sleep.

So yeah.

I feel like I've been in the area much longer than 24 hours. Then again, I do like 10 times more when I'm here. No more sitting around feeling bored.

(Uh, I accidentally kept the last post as a draft.)

I feel very tired right now. I wish I could just plop down and sleep like Shirin. She's fond of hiding places, such as under my bed and a small empty dresser-nightstand, and maybe she missed those a lot when she was on campus and didn't have a place to hide.

ttfn

I'm flying out to DC tomorrow morning. I have to wake up at 3:30 and feel so tired as it is. Bleh.

But I've eaten two real meals today, which is a huge step up from the two Woodchucks, two packets of Gold Fish, two Nutrigrain bars, and Pop-Tarts that fueled me yesterday.

And, I have a job interview this Thursday. Perhaps these folks will be more prompt in their selection and notification and not leave me hanging for more than a month? Time will tell.

In short, Asma. Yay.

goodbye

Come tomorrow, it will have been two days that I haven't showered. My hair is greasy and looks like shit, my skin needs cleansing, and I need a change of clothes.

This is my last night on this campus as far as being a near-permanent resisdent. And though Andrew's done much of the brute work in cleaning the main areas of the apartment, gathering one's stuff for moving sucks. There's no peace of mind in having items lingering about until the final move.

So, it's been five years here. It wasn't all good, and it wasn't all bad; I blame my asocialness on many of the bad. I've met relatively few people on this campus, but the ones I can call friends turned out to be wonderful, interesting people and I do regret not spending as much time as I should have with them.

But I think (or at least hope) that I'll keep in touch with people throughout the years.

I had to move things around my room so that the vacuum could get all the spots, and I stumbled upon a spatial arrangement I would've much rather preferred this entire year. Ah well.

I miss Toby, and I'm going to miss Andrew. Andrew – though I've known him since high school, though he lives five houses away from me – was the first friend when I set foot on this campus the summer after my sophomore year of high school, for WYSE. It's fitting that he'll be the last friend I see when I leave tomorrow.

(Unlike the first time we greeted each other on campus, I won't be on the toilet, nauseated and ready to puke from smoking one too many cigars, with the bathroom door unlocked.)

I'm not going to give Urbana a proper goodbye.

my thin hair

Sometimes I hate it and want to shave again.

We have to clean and move out by noon, Sunday. This feels impossible.

now this is a cute, funny joke

I got a call from 1-818-000-0000 (while talking to Dietmar, gasp) and, um, got a voice message because I shut the ringer off.

And, um, I guess I was a total idiot and deleted it the second time I listened to it. So my goal of transcribing it for the site is dead (like Rick James, rest in peace).

Well, the gist of it is this: I get a message from John Holmes, from the Immigration Service (not Immigration and Naturalization Service), regarding the legality of my stay in the country. An 800-number was left.

First, it's a Los Angeles area code.

Second, it's John Holmes.

Derek? Lance? Come on… Cutie pies.

shit.

Asma and I broke up.

The differences were irreconcileable.

either Greek or French

I had a dream last night that was a bit confusing. It started off with me looking on Amazon.com for something to learn Bangla from. I found some sort of flashcard system endorsed by John Cleese. On the box was a painting of three men on a raft on some river, decorating much of the bottom half. It might've set in ancient Greek times, or somewhere in France.

I stare at the painting and get transported into its history. It seems that these three men are escaping from something. And then another image of French soldiers on a big raft, pushing down one of their own and shooting him (treason, most likely).

Time rolls back to ancient Greece for sure. Out in the ocean are two boys on a small raft with a long rope extending to the shore, and a man in the water holding on to the rope, moving along with the boat.

One of the boys is rowing inhumanely fast while the other is chanting something rhythmically. At a certain point he'd give a yell – the man in the water would somehow fix himself at a point and create enough tension to pull the boat clockwise, then let go at the next chant, and this continued until some sort of polygon was formed by the rope.

On the main land, a girl in her late teens is walking along the street to meet Mrs Fletcher (that's apparently a Greek name). This part is actually retarded, so I'm going to skip it.

Next, a fairly muscular, partially blind old man is walking down some temple steps, along which a group of other men are gathered. They're paying tribute to different gods whose chief strengths lie in combat. He asks them who they're honoring; after hearing the names, he asks why not Aluca. They get on his case that any man that sets foot on Aluca's island is killed.

The old man starts talking about how that necessarily isn't the case, how maybe aimlessly chasing one's goat up a mountainside could get one to slip under Aluca's watch. He was implying, of course, that he was the only man to never be caught and killed by the god, and, furthermore, taught special things by Aluca.

The other guys are jealous and start pushing him around, which escalates into a total fight.

I helped the old guy. I just don't remember how, except maybe that I was in a shallow pool. Shooting at them.

giggle giggle giggle

To: Derek
From: me
Subject: honey bunch

i wanna be ur bug chazer :-*

…

To: me
From: Derek
Subject: Re: honey bunch

i'm sure you'll be happy to know that some of my coworkers saw the subject title of your email, and wanted to know if it was from my girlfriend. they seemed kind of confused when i tried to explain what a "bug chaser" was…